Frist test, first tear.

Everyone, I am feeling much better now.

On Wednesday, I returned to city, and I moved into Elizabeth Hostel which is operated by a Chinese. Place are OK but the tenement are quite complicated. I was in a room with 2 UK and 1 Taiwan guy.
One of the UK guy, Kerry, was a strange guy... He doesn't talk much, he stay in the bed for 22 hours a day, watching his portable DVD, his left ear looks like bruise and feel like caused by sleeping too long, when he pass the reception, the receptionist ask for the rent. err... Not really safe to sleep with him in the same room, huh?
Another UK guy talk the same less, but he's more active. Never saw him in room except when he sleep. Feel like a lot normal than Kerry. The Taiwan guy are quite talkative, we use Mandarin to chat, haha. He was studying English in Brisbane and was in a holiday and will stay in Melbourne for 8 days. He is such a good man, we talk about my situation and he cheered me up! Really thanks him.

The next day I went to the library, search for some job and have a chat with friends online. I chat with Aki, WHV friend, and she shared her experience with me.
I hope she don't mind sharing with other~ :D

20/12/2007		12:59:51		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			Aki...
20/12/2007		13:00:02		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			Have you even want to go home?
20/12/2007		13:00:13		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			I mean after arrived australia..
20/12/2007		13:00:31		[a][K][!]		alm @ Melbourne			yes i did...but i get throught it...
20/12/2007		13:00:41		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			I am facing this problem...
20/12/2007		13:00:45		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			Can you share with me~?
20/12/2007		13:00:59		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			I dont really know what to do..
20/12/2007		13:01:05		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			suddenly lost myself...
20/12/2007		13:01:13		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			and feel not safe..
20/12/2007		13:01:47		[a][K][!]		alm @ Melbourne			我黎左果2個星期都會咁唸
20/12/2007		13:02:29		[a][K][!]		alm @ Melbourne			1.由office工轉到到waitress..好唔慣
20/12/2007		13:02:49		[a][K][!]		alm @ Melbourne			個人日日做野做到好辛苦
20/12/2007		13:03:09		[a][K][!]		alm @ Melbourne			成日心情好差..
20/12/2007		13:04:21		[a][K][!]		alm @ Melbourne			我覺得係因為我地自己選擇過黎, 所以先會咁容易放棄
20/12/2007		13:05:05		[a][K][!]		alm @ Melbourne			如果係有人迫我地過黎, 而且又唔比你走, 你就唔會唸住走
20/12/2007		13:05:36		[a][K][!]		alm @ Melbourne			會好努力咁留o係到
20/12/2007		13:05:52		[a][K][!]		alm @ Melbourne			依家我覺得係無乜目標, 先會咁姐...
20/12/2007		13:05:56		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			對.....
20/12/2007		13:06:39		[a][K][!]		alm @ Melbourne			你要一邊做野, 一邊要分配時間俾自己去玩....
20/12/2007		13:06:52		[a][K][!]		alm @ Melbourne			set一d好短期既目標先得
20/12/2007		13:07:02		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			因為自己選擇過黎，就有機會比自己選擇離開...
20/12/2007		13:08:19		[a][K][!]		alm @ Melbourne			就係因為咁樣, 好似太容易去做到, 所以唔會珍惜, 一遇到問題就想走..
20/12/2007		13:08:31		[a][K][!]		alm @ Melbourne			阿rain都係咁..
20/12/2007		13:09:05		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			我相信大部份WHV人都會有哩個問題...
20/12/2007		13:10:07		[a][K][!]		alm @ Melbourne			另一方面, 唔知你會唔會咁唸, 佢就會覺得好似o係香港放棄左好多野, 黎到黎到, 但又得唔到自己想像既生活...
20/12/2007		13:11:29		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			唔...我曾經想像過得到d野，但係黎到之後發確要得到都唔係咁簡單，所有野都突然變得好複雜....
20/12/2007		13:12:30		[a][K][!]		alm @ Melbourne			我自己都會咁唸, 但我唔想放棄, 我會睇作係由香港轉左黎mel生活一年, 好與唔好, 都係一年,
20/12/2007		13:13:47		[a][K][!]		alm @ Melbourne			我相信, 你在這裡經歷過既, 弟時番到香港, 你一定會懂得珍惜一切既野..
20/12/2007		13:14:24		[a][K][!]		alm @ Melbourne			就好似搵工咁, 係好複雜..我都估唔到
20/12/2007		13:14:45		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			我已經好掛住屋企人，哩樣係我係香港唔會有的感覺...
20/12/2007		13:15:09		[a][K][!]		alm @ Melbourne			但如果有少少進展, or有機會比你搵到好既工, 你就會好開心....信我
20/12/2007		13:15:14		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			亦係我過黎之後，第一樣我真正學到/得到ge 野...
20/12/2007		13:15:31		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			唔...好的...
20/12/2007		13:15:49		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			我諗我都係因為無工作，太多時間亂諗野...
20/12/2007		13:16:31		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			同埋要自己獨立起黎真係唔易...
20/12/2007		13:16:44		[a][K][!]		alm @ Melbourne			你o係hk, 有家人朋友在, 好想野都唔會太擔心, 那裡是你的安全圈, 依家黎到你出左個安全圈, 所以你unsafe囉..
20/12/2007		13:17:00		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			非常同意
20/12/2007		13:17:17		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			我真係唔知點解係哩2日，突然無曬安全感
20/12/2007		13:17:34		[a][K][!]		alm @ Melbourne			所以, 只要習慣左, 就會好好多了....不用擔心...
20/12/2007		13:18:20		[a][K][!]		alm @ Melbourne			你依家個目標就係搵份工先, 就唔會太多野唸..
20/12/2007		13:18:32		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			唔....
20/12/2007		13:18:56		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			同埋要搵番間sharehouse...
20/12/2007		13:19:17		[a][K][!]		alm @ Melbourne			我都明白..我想你會比我更擔心吧.....沒有工, 又要交租....
20/12/2007		13:19:19		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			似d屋企...安全感會大d...
20/12/2007		13:19:59		[a][K][!]		alm @ Melbourne			係呀....訓廳, 點都無咁好
20/12/2007		13:20:14		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			呀~我無係wing度住~
20/12/2007		13:20:24		[a][K][!]		alm @ Melbourne			sharehouse好多, 慢慢搵呢
20/12/2007		13:20:34		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			因為arm arm 個星期一搵到訓Farmwork
20/12/2007		13:20:34		[a][K][!]		alm @ Melbourne			係呀??yy?
20/12/2007		13:20:42		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			做左2日quit左~
20/12/2007		13:20:56		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			但係wing搵左人去佢度住~
20/12/2007		13:21:05		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			所以要住番hostel,....
20/12/2007		13:21:18		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			可能真係太突然喇....
20/12/2007		13:21:34		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			好似乜都無曬咁...
20/12/2007		13:21:42		[a][K][!]		alm @ Melbourne			哦....你依家在hostel on9?
20/12/2007		13:21:47		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			Library~
20/12/2007		13:22:11		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			Hostel 限用半Hour only..
20/12/2007		13:22:14		[a][K][!]		alm @ Melbourne			你介唔介意再訓廳呀咁
20/12/2007		13:22:42		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			你有位出租~ ？ xd
20/12/2007		13:22:53		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			我試試搵share house 先~
20/12/2007		13:22:58		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			點都要試下...
20/12/2007		13:23:20		[a][K][!]		alm @ Melbourne			都係廳, 我要問下表弟
20/12/2007		13:23:28		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			唔使住~~
20/12/2007		13:23:38		[a][K][!]		alm @ Melbourne			ok~~~
20/12/2007		13:23:45		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			Wing都有介紹sharehouse比我~
20/12/2007		13:23:54		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			不過我會試下自己搵~
20/12/2007		13:24:00		[a][K][!]		alm @ Melbourne			比d心機啦....
20/12/2007		13:24:03		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			搵唔度先去佢果度..
20/12/2007		13:24:06		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			會架喇~~
20/12/2007		13:24:12		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			多謝你呀~ :D
20/12/2007		13:24:28		[a][K][!]		alm @ Melbourne			no worry....
20/12/2007		13:24:39		[a][K][!]		alm @ Melbourne			有咩事就搵我地.....
20/12/2007		13:25:05		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			好的~你地係咪會去Tasmania~?
20/12/2007		13:25:17		[a][K][!]		alm @ Melbourne			黎2日我都得閒, 可以陪你行下, 如果你有需要..ok?
20/12/2007		13:25:45		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			@__@
20/12/2007		13:25:45		[a][K][!]		alm @ Melbourne			係呀....2月左右啦...我要考埋車先
20/12/2007		13:26:05		[a][K][!]		alm @ Melbourne			你有我電話架啦..
20/12/2007		13:26:12		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			有呀~~
20/12/2007		13:26:28		[a][K][!]		alm @ Melbourne			good
20/12/2007		13:26:53		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			有咩事我會打黎煩你架喇~~haha
20/12/2007		13:30:17		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			去食d野先~~
20/12/2007		13:30:22		alm @ Melbourne		[a][K][!]			遲d再傾`~
20/12/2007		13:34:55		[a][K][!]		alm @ Melbourne			88

She's very kind. And I really appreciate her support.

Aunt Joyce talked with me through MSN. She said her house in Melbourne should able to let me stay for few weeks. I didn't say yes because I think I can get a share house and a job.

Around 6pm I returned to hostel, I walk inside my room, Kerry was watching his DVD. I get on to my bed, start reading dad's and mom's letter. When I read to the middle part of dad's letter, my tear was out of control, I haven't cried like this for so long and so bad. I don't know how to describe it. I finished my reading. I stopped crying. And my mood get better. I don't like crying, but now it works. I started to tidy up my mind, and start thinking why am I here.

I feel much better.

I called Aunt Joyce, and ask her if I could stay in her house. I wanted to stay there because during Christmas and New Year it's unlikely to get a job. I don't want to go too far because I would like to have the Holiday with my friends. So I decided to stay in Aunt Joyce house. Aunt Joyce gave me Uncle Leung's mobile and I made contact with him, and I moved in today. Really don't know how to express my thanks...... but saying THANK YOU!

Then I called Dad, he gave me some idea on what should I do, how to survive and how to think correctly. Thanks dad and love you!

I called Martin, he shared his Home Sick experience, thanks man!

I called John, but he's busy.

I called home~ Talk with Mom, Grandpa and Grandma. Miss everyone of you~

And I've a very good sleep last night.

I moved to Uncle Thomas' home today, and I have two weeks to restart and prepare myself for my coming trip.

I believe I've passed the test and I felt stronger. I hope I can go through the coming test. I cleared my mind and I start to think how to be independent, how to cook, and how to solve my upcoming problems.

I feel quite lucky, because so many of you are supporting me.


Thanks everyone.